Daie: Choose Your Words With Care

Sahl bin Sa'd narrated that Allah's Apostle said, "Whoever can guarantee (the chastity of) what is between his two jaw-bones and what is between his two legs (i.e. his tongue and his private parts), I guarantee Paradise for him." (Al-Bukhari)

What we can understand from the hadith is... Paradise is guaranteed to those who according to Prophet Muhammad pbuh is taking care of his/her tongue (from foul language, backbiting, being rough and temperamental) and his/her private parts (from committing adultery act). SubhanAllah... we will be guaranteed Paradise by Prophet Muhammad pbuh just by taking care of our tongue & private parts. It sounds easy but in fact it's difficult restraining our tongue from talking non-sense/gossiping. Hmmmm... especially women. Because women like talking.

I still remember one situation back in Malaysia. My friends and I were having a religious discussion. The discussion was attended by our juniors. I couldn't recall perfectly what had happened at that time and how it started. But my friend was assigned to give a short tazkirah to the juniors. From what I can remember, she gave her tazkirah from a book. During the lecture, someone interrupted her and said that the information was incorrect and a bid'ah. She mentioned that my friend should double check the infos before hand. I guess at that time she sounds a bit harsh. The intonation was up. Well, from what I can remember that person is quite out spoken and almost always has something to say during the discussion. I guess there's pros & cons. Depends... depends on the situation & circumstances. I heard that some of the sisters were very afraid to give a tazkirah or opinion because of that person. One of the reason I heard was that incident was very embarrassing. Hmm... (again depends... depends on the mentality of people)

Well, this kind of thing always happened to young duat. Sometimes, they are easily get carried away by their anger when someone committing act opposite to the sunnah and even if it's regarding a small matter (for example in khilafiyah matter).

Well, what I'm trying to say here is... as a Daie, we have a responsibility towards our mad'u. And the responsibility is to spread the words of Allah. But before we expect them to listen to us... we should first have a very good relationship with him/her. Why? Because why should I listen to stranger's advices! That would be my answer if I were to be in that situation. Or may be after that person lecturing me about what I did wrong, I might avoiding him/her or the worst thing would be revolting. We have to make a sincere effort to get to know them (mad'u) so that a trusting relationship can be developed. This will help us to understand the reason why he/she might not be practising. Hence, this will also encourage them to listen to your wisdom. "Seek first to understand, then to be understood!", heard this somewhere before. But where?

"Invite (all) to the Way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious." (16:125)

Da'wah is incumbent on all Muslims and must be done in compliance with the methodology already established by the last Prophet Muhammad pbuh. Although it is the duty for a Muslim to advice another Muslim, if it is not in a proper way it can sometimes lead to a negative outcome such as the case above. There was a story during the life of Prophet Muhammad pbuh...

One day, the Companions saw a Bedouin who was urinating in the Mosque. The Companion were very angry to the Bedouin. But what Prophet Muhammad pbuh did was telling the Companion not to be angry to that Bedouin and instead asked the Companion to clean the urine with a jug of water. A people like the Bedouin are our object of da'wah. Look at how Prophet Muhammad tackled the situation. I wonder what would happen if all the people were angry at him... I think he will never come back to the mosque to learn about Islam ever again...

And here's another story...

Hassan and Hussin (ra), grandchildren of Rasulullah pbuh, once saw an old man doing wudu' incorrectly. Though very young, they were very perturbed and talked among themselves on how to best correct their elder without disrespect. So they decided to tell the old man that they were having a contest between them on who could do wudu in the best way and asked him to be their judge. The man agreed and so they both proceeded to do wudu exactly the same, correct way. The old man realized his mistake and said "You both are correct".

Well, what I'm trying to say here is if we want to correct the person's mistake, do it in a respectful way. Don't make him/her embarrassed in front of other people. Get a private place or meet him/her privately to talk about that instead. As a dai'e, we are so busy correcting other people mistakes and not knowing that we hurt someone with our words (knowingly or unknowingly?). We break the fragile heart of our beloved friend and scarring the feelings of that person, like nothing else could. Astaghfirullah... May Allah guide us...

Just remember this... Just because they are Muslim does not mean they have enough knowledge. And from my personal opinion, our priority as a Dai'e is to invite mankind to worship Allah alone and bring others out of the darkness of disbelief and into the light of Islam. How can you possibly preach people to perform a solah if he/she does not belief in Allah and the presence of the Day of Judgment. How can you possibly advise a woman to wear hijab if she never prays. How can you possibly arguing with people about khilaf matter if they never perform solah, not wearing hijab, have doubts about the Hereafter and the Day of Judgement etc.

May Allah forgive us for our errors and our sins, hidden and known.